Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
