She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
