Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
