I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
