you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Semen is not good for contacts.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
