We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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