I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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