Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize