Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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