Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
