playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
