at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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