we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize