You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
