Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Text me some of your sweat
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
