when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
