mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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