It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
