Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
