I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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