Christians are straight up FREAKS
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
