somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
