I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
