wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
