I must be too annoying 4 u.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
