every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
