i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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