She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
