She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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