he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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