chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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