FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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