girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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