I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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