We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
