Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
