I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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