Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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