I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
