Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
