i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize