For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
