We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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