What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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