McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
