That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
