I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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