u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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