he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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