I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
