question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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