sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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