I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
