just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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