So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Your dad touched me again.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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