I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
