Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize