he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
