He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
